Old Man Peterson swore he had the secret to eternal youth. Every morning, he’d march around the town square, his skin impossibly smooth, his eyes sparkling with an almost manic energy. The townsfolk whispered about ancient rituals or exotic elixirs. Finally, young Jenny, ever the curious one, cornered him and demanded to know his secret.

He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, 'Every morning, before anyone else is awake, I meticulously apply exactly one gallon of my neighbor's very expensive, very organic, anti-aging moisturizer while they're still asleep. It works wonders!'